Dear Doctor Dysphoric:

Here is an interesting health-related question that I received via e-mail this morning:

Dear Dr. Dysphoric:

Every time I go to Brooklyn, I feel sick. I leave Manhattan feeling peachy. As soon as I come up from the 2/3 train, my whole body aches and I feel nausea and tingling all over the left side of my body. Please get back to me ASAP, as the mermaid parade is coming up and I need to know if I should avoid it for medical reasons.

Sincerely,

Poisoned by Park Slope?


Dear Poisoned:

You raise a very interesting question in your letter. I have done a medline search, and found that the medical evidence is really spotty on this clinical question. There are a few observational studies that show Brooklyn indeed effects the health. However, the endpoints in these studies were generally "soft," e.g general malaise, non-specific and unverifiable. not "hard" endpoints, such as mortality data or cadiovascular events (eg. MI, stroke). And there were no clinical trials looking at this question, and not enough studies to do a meta-analysis.

Therefore, I do not think I can advise you either way, using a strict evidence-based approach. However anecdotally I will say to stay away from Park Slope if you are a lesbian and you do not have a baby. You will be the only babyless lesbian, and it will make you feel like shit. Williamsburg should be OK, as long as you have had the hipster vaccine.

Sincerely,

Dr. D